Ariadna Guirado

Pregnancy Story #1 Ariadna Guirado
From Barcelona, Spain

When did you get pregnant? Was it a premeditated decision?
I became pregnant 6 and half months ago, I was still 32. It happened without being planned. Still, we knew it could happen and we would receive it with open arms.

Which was your reaction when you found out?
It was an explosion of incredulousness, happiness, fear and peace.

What have you been afraid of?
I’ve been scared of the unknown, specially of not knowing what it means to become a mother. Am I going to be able to perform as one?

Has the pregnancy been what you had imagined? How are you feeling so far? 
I had never considered it before. I guess I was very naive. I knew that your belly grows, not much more. I had not informed myself neither. Little by little I’ve been learning through the experience. I’m aware of how every pregnancy is a world. Every month I’ve felt physically and mentally different. At this point, I start to believe that there is a little being growing inside of me. The moment he started to move, I became more aware. I had already seen him in an ultrasound scan, but his moves help me understand he is real.

Do you remember what you felt when he moved for the first time?
I felt a heartbeat in my stomach, a beautiful and comforting feeling to know that everything is going well inside of me.

What is your approach to Motherhood? 
I’m still considering it. As time goes by, I’m getting to know more and more… I want to follow my instincts and take it in a natural and relaxed way.

They say that during pregnancy our minds explore deeper the subconscious, have you had any particular dreams?
My mother died a few years ago. During the past months I’ve been dreaming a lot with her. I’ve been waking up with the feeling that she’s there, with me. Motherhood moves many feelings inside of you and I believe that the bond with our mothers wakes up in particular strong ways. We are suddenly able to understand so much about them, things that before we couldn’t see. It has happened to me. The connection to our mothers is beyond physical.

What have you realized?
How strong our connection to our mothers is. We are literally a piece of them. We grow inside of them, it’s a magical and precious bond. It cannot be described with words.

How do you feel about giving birth? In which ways are you preparing yourself? 
It depends… Some days I feel strong, I tell myself I can do it. However, another day I feel scared. I’m not sure how to confront this fear. I’ve been getting informed In order to make a plan with my birthing wishes. Of course, I know some things do not depend on me, I cannot control it all. I’m learning to live with uncertainty. I’ve begun to read “Guide to Childbirth” by Ina May Gaskin. A few friends recommended it to me. Reading it has helped me to calm down and to trust my body and my baby.

What have you noticed so far?
That there is an animal and ancient power inside every woman. We forget about it most of the time.

Which are the most significant changes you have experienced in yourself so far? How do you feel about them? 
The radical change has been mental. I feel calm and in peace with myself. Priorities have changed too. Right now, I prioritize going for a walk, sitting and reading under the sun, buying some flowers to myself, preparing a face mask,… Little things that make me happy. I need to use the time I have for myself before the baby is born.

Do you feel that by taking care of yourself, you take care of the baby?
Of course. I feel this way I enjoy what is going on even more.

What is the best about being pregnant? What would you consider the worst? 
I didn’t enjoy much the nauseas and the tiredness. I’ve been sleepy during most of the pregnancy. The best about it is to feel that there’s a living being inside of me, his movement and being in company all the time.

— Photos: Christian Colomer.