Interviews

"Me encanta escuchar a las mujeres. Es como si poco a poco en mi mente estuviera construyendo un gran collage de qué es el Femenino. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, autora de Mujeres que corren con los lobos, dice que el arquetipo de la Mujer Salvaje, que sería este femenino profundo que compartimos todas, está en la sombra, ha sido rechazado por el sistema, pero que cada una guarda un fragmento. Esa mujer arquetípica se reconstruye entre todas. Tengo el privilegio de ver cómo las mujeres pueden traspasar el sufrimiento y entrar en contacto con este aspecto salvaje, original, esencial. Creo que una de mis habilidades es sacarlas del lugar del auto-castigo, de la culpa y la vergüenza, y mostrarles su aspecto más luminoso. En realidad, en cualquier cuestión ginecológica siempre hay un tema relacionado con el amor. El amor de madre o a un hombre o a un padre o hacia los hijos, siempre se trata de amor. Distorsionado, desordenado, anudado, que se manifiesta en forma de síntoma. Ayudarlas a desanudarlo, al menos un poquito, es lo que más me fascina de mi trabajo."

"Creo que el cambio más significativo que afecta a todas las parcelas de mi vida es que he pasado de sentirme hija a sentirme madre. La forma de moverte en el mundo, de tomar decisiones, tu sentido de pertenencia en la sociedad, cambia radicalmente. Y tengo que decir que lo agradezco. Creo que si no hubiera dado este salto al vacío que es convertirse en madre nunca hubiera podido llegar donde estoy ahora espiritualmente."

"I first read the word doula in an article in Vogue in my mid-20s when I was working in the fashion industry as a creative events producer. At the heart of the interactions that I was experiencing at that time – both at work and in my social life – was an underlying desire for humanity, community and ritual, so I was instantly captivated by the notion of walking alongside pregnant and birthing people towards the power, confidence, sacredness and deep respect that this rite of passage has always, and will always, merit. In 2017 I began training as a doula. Several months later I was diagnosed with a rare cancer that threatened my own fertility."

"Personally, I think life’s purpose is to find happiness, whatever that means to you. For some, it’s having a child, for others, it’s something completely different. And I don’t think either one is wrong or right, it just depends on the person. But to be totally honest, I actually disagree with parents who find their life’s purpose in their child. Not only does it put an unhealthy burden on the child, in my opinion, but it also kind of diminishes the lives of all those who don’t have children for whatever reason, like their lives don’t have the same meaning or purpose. In a way, that’s the subtext of our culture, and having been childless for a long time and experienced this on my own skin, I find that mentality pretty annoying."

"In the first place, as a queer couple it is not easy to get pregnant, obviously. We had to talk about it. That was an easy decision, because I always knew I wanted to gestate, give birth and breastfeed. That was something Doreen didn’t have the need to go through. Then you need to decide the method. We tried home insemination, because we thought that would be the most intimate way. It was very nice, but didn’t work. Later we tried 3 IUI intrauterine insemination in a clinic in Berlin. Unfortunately, they didn’t work neither. IVF was the next step. We decided to try reciprocal IVF, which meant that they would take Doreen's eggs and inseminate them in me. I would carry, gestate and give birth to the babies. The procedure was done in Spain, because in Germany it was not legal. All in all, it felt like a lot to consider and so many choices to make."

"Going from having one kid to having two was a huge jump. Any spare time I used to have is now gone and I feel some days I really crave solitude. I am an introvert and I recharge on my own. Sometimes it can be days before this happens. Currently, this is what I am struggling with the most. Especially because I have started to dip my toes back into work again, so the pressure can build on me and I can crumble. And then there are days when we thrive, like I will catch Emily helping James down from the couch when they are playing or I watch James figure out how to peel a banana. I erupt with reassurance and a little pride. Every day is different, I try to embrace that. I teach them and they teach me, that’s something I try to remember too."

"My parents were quite surprised and none of my friends were expecting this. By far I was the youngest father of all of them and until today there are only a few friends of mine who have one child at all. I am still the youngest father in our kinder garden, while our oldest daughter is starting school this year. It was always a dream of mine to have children at a young age and I would recommend everyone to do so."

"Authenticity is freedom. The more free a woman is, the more powerful she becomes. There is nothing more exciting and beautiful than a free woman. That is why I think it is so important for us to find our authentic self. It is through my own growth that I have come to truly understand how necessary it is for women to reclaim their power. I am still breaking out of layers, one after the other. It’s like I have been wearing glasses all my life and I am removing the filters through which I have lived my childhood and early adult life. Gender inequality, the depth of the patriarchy, the pain of women in this world, white privilege, western world privilege, the superficiality of consumerism, the role models we are force fed through the media. Like a loud speaker in my mind. Lowering the volume and opening my senses and my heart to my inner world have taken me on a truth seeking journey."